I Wonder
by misplacedpuzzlepiece
Summary: Sometimes I think about you and I wonder if you're out there somewhere thinking about me. If I ever came back home to California, I wonder what you'd say to me? Harleigh Rose Teller is on her way back to California to meet her birth parents for the first time. She has questions that need answers. But can things ever be okay with so many broken hearts? Jax x OC
1. Chapter 1

My moms funeral was exhausting, so I dind't sleep all that much. It was going on 8 o'clock in the morning and I had to get my day started. I forced myself out of bed and threw on a t-shirt that was crumpled up in the corner. A grey t-shirt I got from the SlipKnot concert I went to a year ago. I grabbed the same pair of jeans I had been wearing for about a week; let's face it, they weren't dirty yet. I slipped on my Tomms and headed into the bathroom, running a brush through my hair with one hand and brushing my teeth with the other.

I hurried out my apartment and down to the parking lot, hopping on my bike and heading into into town. A short 10-minute ride and I was pulling up to my PIs office, so excited for today. This was the day I had waited months for. I had post-poned it when my mother finally passed; it had been a waiting game for the last 10 months, watching cancer take her slowly. I was relieved she was finally at rest.

I walked into the building and headed down to the second door, knocking before I went in. PI Bailey sat at his desk, a thick file folder sitting infront of him, probably holding all the answers I've searched for my entire life.

"Ms. Lilley!" he greeted me, looking excited. "Please, have a seat."

I sat in the over-sized leather chair and placed my helmet down by my feet on the floor. I peerd at him, ready for him to start telling me everything.

"Are you ready?" He asked me, opening the folder.

I nodding, holding by breath. I couldn't believe this was finally happening.

"I managed to find both of your birth parents," he sat a few papers out infront of me, all paper work. "You were born in Charming, California."

"California?!" I shouted, shocked. "How the fuck did I end up out here?!" Ohio was a little far from Cali. He glared at me and I let him continue.

"Your mothers name is Logan Henderson," he laid out another paper. He grabbed another one and laid it down, replying, "And your fathers name is Jaxon Teller. She was 15 and he was 17 when you were born."

Oh my god, they were so young. No wonder they gave me up.

He cleaned those papers up and laid down 6 new ones.

"I had a lot of luck with this case. It seems they were married when your birth other turned 18, but they divorced 3 years later." He showed me papers indicating both events. "Your birth father never got re-married, but your birth mother did. However, a document popped up showing she filed for divorce a year ago, and is still in the process of finalization. While she has had many different addresses the last 20 years, her current one is in Charming, California, as well as your fathers current address."

"Anything else?" That was stuff I really didn't care about, except knowing where they both lived. "Do I have any brothers of sisters?"

He nodded, smiling. He said sat a few more papers. "You have two younger brothers and a younger sister. One brother is a whole-blood brother, the other one is half, by your father. And your sister is half, by your mother. Although, I'm assuming, her father isn't mentioned on her birth certificate."

I had siblings. I had three siblings. And two living biological parents. I had never really known the story behind my adoption, and up until recently when I found out my mother didn't have long, I didn't care. But I was an orphan and starting to feel pieces of myself missing; I needed to know where and who I came from.

"Emily, I know this is something you've wanted to persue for a very long time, and I'm so glad I can finally give you the information to do so."

I smiled at him, happy to know he was happy to have been service to me. "Did my birth name happen to be on any of the records?"

"Are you sure you wanna know that, Emily?"

I thought for a second. I had been Emily Nicole Lilley my entire life, but I needed to know. I nodded at him.

"It was Harleigh Rose Teller."

 _Harleigh Rose Teller_

Dtc. Bailey and I said our goodbyes and I took the folder that had all the information he had collected for me. I was headed home to pack my one bag and head all the way across the country to some shitty little town called Charming, California.

I wasn't Emily from Ohio anymore. I was going to be Harleigh from California, and I was going to figure out who I was.

I was just hoping they'd want to do the same.

Wishful thinking that I wasn't unwanted or just rejected. Maybe they really just couldn't keep me. I don't know. People have kids young all the time. But I'm thankful for the life they gave me, a good life with my Mom and Dad.

Was I going to call them Mom and Dad now? Was that wrong? Was that okay? Fuck, I didn't know. All of this added to my already had life-long confusion. I just needed to get to California and figure out the answers to all the questions I had. Now or never, it was time.

Everything I own in one duffle bag. More money in my bank account then I knew what to do with. All the time in the world. Three things that always seemed to be a deadly combination. As much as I wanted to drive my bike cross-country, it wasn't a smart idea. I got it and my one bag loaded up in the truck Mom and Dad got me three years ago. I pulled away from the curb and headed to 80 West, starting my journey across the country to the opposite coast.

24 and a half hors of driving still wasn't enough to clear my head and steady my thoughts. I made one stop just for the night to get some sleep, so Ibasically drove all the way through, Ohio to California.

I was 30 minues outside of Charming, California. I always thoughts Cali would be all city, but that was not the case with this area. It was quiet and serene, lots of little mom and pop shops down every street. Kids riding their bikes around. It was cute.

I wasn't exactly sure where to go. I went through all the information I had about my birth parents quite a few times, trying to figure out where to start. I didn't want them freaking ou if I just showed up somewhere. But I also didn't want to pussy-foot around, wasting time trying to figure out how to go about this.

I decided to check into my hotel before anything else. I wanted to shower and change my clothes. Make myself look a little presentable. I wanted to make a good first impression the first time I met Logan and Jaxon.

Mom and Dad?

I don't know. Who knew what shit this ws even going to stir up. What if they didn't want me? What if they didn't want to meet me? What if they had just forgotten about me and moved on with their lives? My brain just wouldn't stop.

I checked into he Hilton I had made reservations at, heading up to my room. I turned the A/C on full blast as soon as I got in and tossed my bag on the beg. I unzipped it, trying to find something decent to wear. I didn't have much, and none of it was really dress attire. One of my flannels would have to do.

I got into the bathroom and turned the shower on, letting it heat up while I stripped down.

I looked at myself in the mirror, running a hand through my thick dark hair. It was always so weird growing up looking like I did. Mom and Dad were both blonde hair and blue eyed with pale ivory skin. Then there was me; green eyes, dark brown hair and olive skin. It was never a secert I was adopted, but the way I looked next to them sure did scream it the world.

I hopped in the shower and finished up as quick as possible, hopping out. I got dressed quick and put from de-construction spray in my hair to keep my waves together. I grabbed a few pieces of paper and shoved them in my bag, heading out the door. I hadn't had a chance to unload my bike yet, so I needed to do that. Years of practice made it easy, thank god.

I strapped on my helmet and checked the address one last time. I headed towards Charming Heights High School.

It was almost time for the classes to be letting out, so I just sat on my bike in the parking lot for a few minutes. I was anxious. I didn't even know what she looked like. There was only one picture in the entire file of her, and it was a mugshot from when she was 19. She got arrested for smoking pot and mouthing off to the arresting officer. Jax was with her, too.

I watched the teens exit the building, heading to the side to get on their designated buses. I took a deep breath and headed for the door. I walked straight into the office and up to the secretary. Her name plaque said Ms. Ralling.

"Hello," she greeted with a smile. "Can I help you with something?"

"Uhm, yeah, hi. I, uh, I'm looking for Logan Henderson, or uhm, Teller? I'm not sure which name she goes by now. I'm a cousin from her Moms side and just needed to see her and tell her some things in person."

She lit up immediately, more than eager to help me.

"Go up the main stair case and make a left. Her room is on the right of the hallway, number 216. Her door is very decorative." I thanked her with a smile and headed out, following her directions. My heart beat faster and my chest got tighter with every step I took. I made it to the top of the stairs and was nearly in a panic. I stood outside her door for what seemed like an eternity before I knocked.

"Come in!" Her voice was soft, but kind of ruggid, if that made sense. It made my spine tingle. Her voice did something to my body and brain I couldn't explain. I shakily grabbed the handle and turned it, pushing the door open. When I walked in her back was turned to the window, she was cleaning something up from one of the tables.

From the back I could see she was short, she was a little taller than me, but she had on a pair of very fashionable wedges. Her legs were long and tan and very defined. She had a really good sense of fashion, one I obviously didn't obtain through genetics. Her shorts were perfectly fitted and bright white against her tan skin. Her blouse was a beautiful shade of forrest green that complimented her skin. She had tattoos all on her arms, but I couldn't make much out of them from the back.

My heart dropped when she turned around. "Oh, hello?" she seemed confused, walking over closer to me, setting things down on her desk. I felt so awkward, but I was lost. I was taking every aspect of her in. Her eyes were the same bright shade of green mine were. Her hair had that natural bounce and curl mine did. Even my face was damn near a copy of hers. Her make-up was flawless and her hair frames her face perfectly.

"Are you one of my students sisters or something? Macy Phillips? You kind of look like her."

I shook my head, not sure what to say.

"No, uhm. I'm not."

"Well is there something I can help you with? What did you say your name was?"

I let out a breath I had been holding in for quite some time. "Uhm. It's Harleigh. Harleigh Rose Teller."

I had never seen someone so tan lose so much color so quick. She looked like a ghost, like she was about to faint. If her chair wasn't there to catch her, I'm sure she would have.

It was silent.

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	2. Chapter 2

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Her face was so stuck, confused adn frightened and filled with anxiety and terror. I wish I could make out what she was thinking, but no matter how hard I tired I just couldn't. She was an array of mixed emotions and thoughts.

"Wh-what did you say?" Her voice was so different now. It was light and quiet and shaking. It sounded nothing like before.

"Harleigh Rose Teller. But my name has been Emily Lilley for the last 21 years. I was born at St. Thomas Hospital here. 6lbs 4oz on October 15th, 1994. And I'm almost certain the woman who gave birth to me, is you." It was a lot to get out and say, but I really didn't know how else to go about it. I guess it was just best for me to lay everything out on the table in this situation.

She leaned back in her chair, putting her hands on top of her head, letting out a big breath. Her cheeks turned red and her eyes glossed over. God, I wish I knew what she was thinking.

I wasn't expecting what happened next.

In a quick second she was right in front of me, her arms wrapped tight around my body. I froze for a second, but once I realized what was happening I threw my arms around her, hugging her as tight as she was me.

She pulled away from the hug, keeping ahold of my shoulders. She looked me all over. She studied my face, looked at my body up and down. Much like I did her, she took in all of my features, probably seeing a lot of similarities.

"What are you doing here? How did you find me? Why? Oh my god." And she broke down in tears, falling back down into her chair. She collected her tears and emotions for a second to tell me to sit down and try and relax.

"Well, my, uh, my adoptive Mom passed away so I had nothing left back home. I've been wanting to find you and Jax for years." I could see his name made her visably shutter. "My adoptive Mom-"

"Just call her your mother, Harleigh. No, Emily. I'm sorry. Call her your mother. She was your mother. _Is_ your mother."

"My mother. She passed away a little over a week ago and my father passed away a few years back. Since I had nothing left for me there, I decided I wanted to meet you. Meet Jax." That shiver ran down her body again. "I have so many questions."

Before Logan (Mom?) could respond to me, two boys, probably about 16, walked into her room.

"Hey, Mom!" My heart dropped into my stomach. The brunet boy came over to her, dropping his bag on an empty lab table, hopping up on it to take a seat. The blonde boy did the same.

"Hey, Ma." The blonde told her.

"Is the lady almost done with you? I wanna go home." he groaned at her. Well he was definately a teenager, that was for sure.

"Bryce, don't be so rude. You don't even know who this lovely young woman is. Apologize to her, now." I could tell by the tone in her voice how good of a mother she really was. She was loving but yet firm, making sure her son was proper and polite.

He sighed and turned to me. "Sorry lady. I've had a bad day and would really like to go home."

I guess that was close enough to an apology.

"Thanks." I told him.

I could see Logan was starting to panic a bit at this situation. I felt pretty bad, as far as my stomach being crazy and my chest being tight; she looked like she was feeling like times a hundred.

Logan quickly dug out her car keys out of her purse. "You and your brother go pick up Aubree from the middle school and come back down, I'll be ready." Just as the boys were about to dart she yelled, "Abel is driving, don't even think about it Bryce!"

After the boys left she turned back to me, her face full of so much emotion.

"I'm sorry." she crashed back down into her chair, cupping her face with her hands to hide her tears and heavy breathing best she could.

I had only just met her, but we had a connection. I don't give a fuck what anyone says. Blood really does connect you. Her being my birth mother made such a huge bond between us on a crazy spiritual level.

"Please don't be sad." I told her, trying to hold back my own emotions. She took a second to gather her thoughts and then stood up, grabbing her purse and planner.

"Listen, I know that was a really terrible meeting for you and your brothers, but that was them. Bryce is your full brother, and Abel is a half, but I'm the only mother he's ever known. They're both 16, almost 17. Aubree just turned 13. She looks a lot like you. But I guess both of you look a lot like me." She laughed at that, wiping a final tear off of her cheek. Her mood was better and so was mine. "I think I need to call Jax and-"

"No!" I yelled. I made her jump, but I didn't mean to. "Sorry." I drew back. "I just think it would be best if I saw him first. Before you said anything."

She nodded, understanding. She pulled a white card out of her purse, handing it to me. It read _Teller-Morrow Garage._

"That's where you'll find him. But I think after you talk, all of us should have dinner and sit down. This is... A lot. It's something we all need to talk about together." I agreed completely with her.

She hugged me once again, both of us feeling like we never wanted to let go. This was nothing what I expeted it to be like.

She walked me out to my bike, a smile crossing her face when she saw it.

"You like bikes?" I asked, straddling over it. Her smile got bigger.

"I'm not really into them exactly." A horn blared across the parking lot. She sighed, looking at the ground. "Your- Uhm, Jax. Jax has my cell phone number. Just give me a call after you and him have a conversation." She hugged me tight again and I kissed her cheek.

I had to take a couple deep breaths before pulling out of the parking lot. I had my phone strapped to my bikes dash, the address keyed in for the garage where I could find my birth-father.

It was about a twenty minute ride. Very scenic. The weather felt amazing, Autumn out here was very nice.

I saw the big sign in the distance, my stomach dropping a bit. I was less nervous now than I was meeting my Mom, but I was still nervous, none the less.

For some odd reason, I felt like I sort of belonged here. I don't know. Maybe it was the music I could hear playing. Maybe it was the smell of medical grade chronic. Maybe it was all the bikes lined up and down the parking lot. I wasn't sure, but something felt right.

I parked my bike fairly close to what looked like the office of the shop. I didn't see anyone so I decieded to go check there.

Walking up and peaking through the window I saw a beautiful older woman sitting at the desk with glasses, looking over papers.

I took a breath and walked in, hoping she would know where Jax was.

"Hi can I he-" For some reason she stopped talking when she looked up to me. I didn't now what to do or say, so I just stood there for a few seconds.

She blinked a few times and came back to reality, continuing to ask me what she could do.

"Yeah, uhm, I'm actally looking for someone."

"Jax?" She replied so fast I didn't even have time to finish my breath.

Something was up with this lady. Maybe crazy anxiety or drugs?

"Uhm, yeah. Jax."

She stood up, walking out of the office. "Follow me." She motioned me. I skipped out and tailed behind her, walking over to the other side of the building to another door. Was this a fucking bar attachted to a garage? That's nuts.

As soon as we came into the door, smells flooded my nose; leather, liquor, musk, marijuana, cigarettes, grease. And some type of something sweet, but I couldn't quite tell what.

We turned a corner and I saw all these different men sitting at the bar. My stomach dropped when I saw him. It was now or never I guess.

"Hey Ma," he got up and kissed the woman who lead me in on the cheek. That woman was my fucking grandmother. What. "Who's this? She need some work done?"

It looked like my Grandmother didn't know what to say for a second, stumbling on her words.

"I, uh, I don't know. She just said she was looking for you." He looked puzzled for a second.

"Well, sweetheart, what can I do for you?" _Sweetheart._ I imagined it being him calling me that as a little girl who just wanted her blankie and her daddy.

Don't get me wrong, I loved my adoptive Dad very much but.. He wasn't the kind of Dad I wanted. We never had anything in common, and he was never very good at showing emotion. I think that's why I'm so mentally fucked up.

"Uhm.. Wow this is tough." I didn't mean to say that out loud, but I did.

He chuckled. "How about we start with your name?"

Fuck. If you insist. "Uhm, it's Harleigh. Harleigh Rose Teller." And I swear to God I've never heard a room fall so silent so fast. You could have heard a pin drop on the floor. The only sound was my grandmother trying to cover her hyperventilating and soft tears.

The look of Jax' was one I've never seen from any person before, although it was close to my mothers reaction.

But he was much more silent. Until he just walked right passed me and out the door I came in. Awkward..

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